Barricade

The clashing, clanging symbols crash

Another storm to life

Torrential downpour splashing upon this weary ground.

Layer after layer of heavy drops

Collide with painted faces

    and fastened hair.

Repeated clicks of hurried heals

Shouts for beckoned taxis

Worried, hassled glances show

A desire for dreamt-of fancies

A place of rest and warmth around the flames upon a  log

A mouth silenced in rarity, completely lifted fog

Woolen layer after layer piled high and far

Trapping in the toasty heat, much like a tightly shut jar

What contentment is there here

In a place with no more sorrow

This is were we meet Him 

In a place with no more striving

So do not strive and

Do not push, to find your Lover's heart

Instead have calm excitement

Wait for portraits of His art

Just wait...wait................wait.

He will meet you in that place

Where all the world's a barricade away

You'll soon be lost in arms of grace.

To Reveal

As to reveal hope
She climbs to the top of the mountain
Expecting to see a world of dream and joy...
But what greets her wide eyes
Can not be explained as colorful...
But what was, was very cold...
Black, gray...lifeless, or so it seemed...

She fell from her own feet,
As an expression of defeat
And her hands covered her weeping eyes
Her sobs broke the dead silence
And seemed to echo aloof the fog,
Hovering above the unknown.

Then, a hushed rustle began to whisper behind her
And her long hair began to wisp around her face
She was nudged by the playing wind,
Requested to play along.
Giving in, she stood, and turned around...
She froze, as if to be caught mute and lame
And her balance was again threatened...
However this time,
The breathless figure she had beheld
stooped low to pick her up again
And He continued to carry her to the place she had been,
To the place where such faith and anticipation had danced in her eyes
and to that same place,where all the hope had been snatched and carried away...

He brought her back, and began to stretch out
His hand,toward the fog...clearning away the edges
Her eyes began to open once more
As she gazed at the darkness,
The bitter, cold despair melting from the valley below
Her eyes widened, and she became entranced
With how the beauty replaced such ugliness...

As to reveal hope that was.

Worship...

I'm not sure if I've ever written about worship leading.

It is my heart's desire, the place I feel most at home, but also the most challenging.

I love music and I love expression through art. But worship is different, it has its own separate category of beauty.

There is something within me that rises, becomes stirred, but is also satisfied while in the presence of God.

A lot of people ask me what I want to be. And I never really knew for sure. Partly because I didn't know worship leading counted (haha). But also because I felt like it was not as called-for in the earth as perhaps a business owner, a pastor, a manager, or even a janitor.
But then I realized that it doesn't matter how great of a job I feel it is.
I want it - no, I need it.
I love seeking more of God, and diving into His unending mysteries, and then admiring it and thanking Him for such breathe-taking wonder.

Like I said, it is where I feel the most at home...where even problems with friends become pointless and solved naturally by the Spirit.
Everything seems to melt away, and I can honestly say it is where I am completely at peace.
It seems like every time I do worship is another mountaintop, and the valley below is the time in between each session...where I wait anxiously desiring to once again come before the throne of God in corporate love and adoration.

Worship is so much more than a song, a powerpoint projection, or a clap of the hands.

It is the secret garden-place where it's "You and me alone, God" (Misty Edwards).

I love worship.
I love Jesus.
If you love one, you love the other. :)

Worship Leading!!

Wow! It has been an amazing few months in Arizona. I'm meeting some amazing people, and many of them are my age:)
I am not the worship leader of ExtremeGeneration. Our first conference is this weekend in Mesa, AZ. I am so excited! God has shown me a few visions as well as a lot of mental confirmation that this weekend is going to be incredible!! It's called Heaven on Earth...and for good reason (wink, wink).

Been listening to a new Christian band called Thrice. So far, my favorite song by them is Moving Mountains. It basically talks about all the really cool stuff that Christians have the authority to do, but without love they are MEANINGLESS. It's got a really cool melody too...<3
They have a myspace, www.myspace.com/thrice.

I'm hungry. I wonder how you subscribe to different blogs on this site...?
Hmmm...

Doin' well

Hey:)
Life has been grand...or so i like to tell people. But it's been pretty good. Honestly.
I'm meeting people, gaining friendships, and growing into shoes I feel are too big for my small feet...
But I'm growing. And that's the main thing. :)
Growing into a new lifestyle, "heaven invading earth" lifestyle. Pretty interesting, if you ask me. I meet people who are already immersed into the glory of God everyday (!!). VERY amazing.
Seeing people healed many times, physically, mentally, as well as spiritually.
Reading a book called "When Heaven Invades Earth" by Bill Johnson (hense the phrase before). It's a VERY informative book, and it's something I need to read. I feel like my foundation should be solid, and I'm not really feeling it too much. Especially after just talking to a friend who recently has turned to the theory of science and evolution...leaving God as a cop out. The thing is, she has incredible reasoning skills...so I felt very small. And unprepared. I want to change that for future discussions with similar people I know. But you know? When I heard it from her, an incredible sense of LOVE<3 came over me...and there was no sense of anger, or hostility towards her. And I still have compassion for her...Thank God:)
She's just at the stage where normal religion isn't gonna cut it...she wants MORE. I've experienced that, MORE that she wants. But she has already started curving. All I can do is pray, and hope to lead by example...I think.

But God is always working in me...ALWAYS. And I'm learning to love Him, and to surrender more and more as we become oNe...unity...wow. With God. Hmm. Pretty incredible.
I feel like, for once in my life, I FEEL HIM BY MY SIDE 24/7....24/7...and that's a lot...that's all the time. haha. I talk to him now, anytime, and everytime I feel like I should, or if I want to.
There's just one part that I'm in the process of perfecting (which can only come with time, and experience...) and that is the LISTENING part. I'm getting better, sure. But there's always more land to travel...and the journey never ends. He's like an endless hole of glory...not a black hole, but a golden opening, and you see it, but you can't see the end...you have to enter it and get farther and farther for Him to reveal more of it to you, and there's a point where you CAN'T just turn around and leave...wow. He WANTS to give me himself, his gifts, and His gLoRy. his glory. It must be really....really, powerful, and awesome. Powerful...wow...like, supernatural...completely. God is a completely supernatural God...and He wants to take us there.





Wow, funny how everytime I start to write, it ends up talking about God...haha.


Diggin' in,
AW

Farewell My Darling, Farewell...

My heart seems to yearn for the past.
Why must I trouble myself,
Remaining in these abandoned dreams,
Surrounded by those splendid memories.
Why must it hurt so,
When the body moves on,
But the heart, mind, and soul
Become trapped in what was...
You are my darling,
Oh left behind life...
You were my love, the one I held close.
But now, please forgive me,
I have abandoned you, forsaken you
Though I did not realize.
Please allow me peace, sweet darling.
My love, my friendship,
I feel I must let go.
And so, farewell my darling...
It is best for us all.
I cannot move on if you are still near,
So sail away on the clouds
Of another's dreams,
Be the joy of another man's sorrow
Do what you will,
But do not remain.
I must move on
And I urge you
To do the same.

Farewell my darling, farewell,
And may you bring the smiles to the faces
Of your new inhabitants...
Goodbye, my love.

Maybe

Maybe
Just maybe...
Things were meant to be this way.
And maybe,
Just maybe,
This joy was meant to never sway.
Perhaps
I was meant to feel this.
And maybe,
All the things I had once thought
Were maybe not the truth.
And maybe,
All the things I'd once believed,
Were not really you.
Maybe,
Just maybe,
This is who you really are...
More than my dreams had fathomed.
And more than my eyes could see.
Maybe
You really do want me...
And maybe
You really do care...
And maybe
You'd do anything to keep me close.
Maybe,
I was the one just standing there...

Perhaps
There's more than the world really sees.
All the broken religion
And plastic belief,
The way all the fakes
stand in what seems like grief.
Maybe
We're not at a funeral.
And maybe,
We just don't see...
That really, it's not a mourning,
And it's not a mystery...really.

Maybe
The life we all want
Is closer than we thought...
And maybe
Our minds just aren't thinking what they ought.
Perhaps
It's a gift.
Something must be accepted...
And really our minds just don't comprehend it.
But maybe
We need to.
Even if at first,
We afraid to.
And why be afraid to?
It's your Father,
Not just a man.

Maybe
To say that we're looking for truth
Is more truthful itself,
than to look like we're fine.
Better than looking so
Perfect, Devine.

Maybe,
It's a lie.
How Jesus doesn't move.
That he's only a picture,
And there is no proof.
Maybe
He wants us to know that there's more.
And maybe
He wants us to just unlock the door.
He's knocking,
We're watching TV or
ignoring.

Maybe
We should open the door.
Let him in,
But not see what's in store.
Why not
Just go with the
Lover of your soul...
He knows who you are and
He knows where to go.

Why are you afraid?

Maybe
You need to stop
All the excuses,
And quit
Giving in
To just mental abuses
Maybe
IT'S TRUE.
Maybe
HE'S A REAL GOD.
And maybe
best thing you can do right now?
Would be to be honest with yourself.



Maybe,
Just maybe,
This is REAL.